I found this theory of communication very useful. All of our
interactions have some aspect of recognition, acknowledgement and endorsement.
Its impossible to respond or not to respond to someone without confirming or
disconfirming them.
Personally, I find it easy to confirm with people most of
the time. At work and at school, I don’t typically deal with personal issues or
issues that I feel strongly about. In most situations, I can confirm with them,
and continue on with a happy and healthy conversation. Other times, when I have
a strong opinion about an issue, I forget to confirm with others and begin to disconfirm
with them. This chapter has brought disconfirmation to my attention and I will definitely
be more mindful of the way I respond to others.
Lastly I find it difficult to distinguish between confirming
with people and their ideas. Many times people are connected to their ideas so
it sort of goes hand in hand. Separating the two is challenging and I don’t
understand it clearly. Maybe you guys can clear this concept up for me.
Thanks!
-Jossshhuaa
Hi Jossshhuaa,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I agree it is much easier to confirm with someone who agrees with your ideas or concepts. The more you have in common with a individual probably the more you are confirming with them. I typically find myself smiling, shaking my head yes,and not having my arms crossed when I am non-verbally confirming what another person says. If I am dis-confirming (or not agreeing with what the individual is saying) my head is shaking no, my arms are crossed and I am not smiling. My face is usually scrunched up like I smelt something bad. I have been working on being more accepting and not being judgmental because it is important for every to have their opinion heard whether I agree or not. After all it is what makes this country great, freedom of speech.
Thanks for sharing your post.
Katrina
Hi Jossshhuaa,
ReplyDeleteI agree with you that this chapter helped us learn about disconfirming others and what we can do to change it. By confirming others, it is acknowledging and respecting them and their ideas/feelings, but it does not mean we must agree. I am working on accepting other's ideas and realizing that everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion.
Great post. Thanks for sharing!
-rompersb
I think the book just means that you don't act like they don't exist or don't matter. As long as you listen to another person's point of view you are confirming others. You don't necessarily have to agree with their ideas, but you do need allow them to exist by allowing them to tell you an opinion they have. Sometimes it's better not to affirm yourself if you want to avoid miscommunication. You're girlfriend also may not want to have her mind changed so it's better to avoid this scenario. You want to have ideas independent of each other, but not to the point where it causes you to argue. It doesn't make sense that something as minor as the zodiac signs could cause you to fight. Did she cheat on you? Did you cheat on her? Then, I don't see what the big deal is.
ReplyDelete