Week 6, Post 3: 10 Tips for Listening

This article really simplified the concepts of listening and gave effective tips on how to become a successful listener.  Though I found value in all ten tips the article presented, I found the most value in points 2 and 10.  The author’s second point urges readers to judge content and not delivery.  By focusing on how on how a speaker is talking, we would be able to eliminate the focus of looking for negatives in the speakers delivery and instead look for the positives in his or her messages.  As a comm major, I find eliminating the judgment on delivery especially hard because of the immense focus my instructors have put on me to be mindful the delivery.  I will definitely have to work on not worrying about how people are saying something, but more so on what they say.

Additionally, the author’s advice on focusing on the speed of thought is important as well. During a conversation with another person, there is so much that goes through our head; judgment of their delivery, future conversation topics with them, or any other issues that may be a hindrance to our interaction. Forcing myself to be mindful of the person I’m interacting with will definitely be another challenge for me.

Overall, I found great value in the article and all its tips, I hope you did as well.

-Jossshhuaa

Week 6, Post 2: Concept Post

The concept post I picked for this week is external and internal obstacles to listening.  I felt this topic discussed in the textbook was very relevant to my studies at SJSU. I’m constantly bombarded by all the obstacles listed such as message overload, message complexity, noise, preoccupation, and prejudgment.  However, out of all the elements of external and internal obstacles, preoccupation effects my listening ability the most. 

The text defines preoccupation as a person being distracted from communication from internal distractions and priorities.  I experience this obstacle constantly throughout the day.  My busy schedule forces me to continuously think about school, homework, work, family issues, and anything else all the time.  During class I find myself working on homework and work tasks, and at work I find myself working on homework and solving other life issues.  This split attention during conversations and lectures at work and school has a significant impact on my productivity.  

Does preoccupation affect you at all?

-Jossshhuaa

Week 6, Post 1: Non-Listening

Non-listening was an interesting concept discussed in chapter 6. It was interesting to learn about all the different types of non-listening. I’ve always thought of myself as a fairly engaging communicator.  As a result, I believed I understood how to listen properly and respectfully. 

After reading the chapter, I thought I couldn’t relate to any of the non-listening skills until I ran into literal listening.  Literal listening is a process where a person only listens for content and ignores the relationship he or she has with the other person. I find myself participating in this form of non-listening predominantly at work place.  My job consists of different routines from instructing and selling contracts.  A lot of the time I find myself too stuck into the business aspect of everything, and forget that I’m dealing with people with feelings.

My goal to eliminate this form of non-listening is to try to not treat everyone has if they are machines.  Sale, instruction, and other activities my job consist of are not “one size fits all”.  By treating people more like individuals I’ll be able to eliminate my habit of literal listening, and be able to be develop closer relationships with others at my workplace.

-Jossshhuaa

Week 4, Post 3

The I language and You language concepts really interested me in this chapter.  In summary, I language is used to increase the quality of communication between two people.  It does this by taking the focus off the blame of another person, and refocusing it on the feelings and thoughts of the person talking. A great example the text gave was instead of saying, “You hurt me”. One can say, “I feel hurt, when you ignore me”.

There are several advantages to using I language over you language. The first is that I language allows one to be more descriptive with their talk. Instead of just saying what the other person did to them, they communicate their feelings and emotions in a non-confrontational way. Secondly, using I language allows people to become less defensive.  By eliminating the blame of someone’s actions, people are able to clearly express themselves without worrying about hurting the others feelings.

Personally, I am going to try to incorporate I language in my everyday talk more often. I feel it’s a great tool to increase the quality of my own communication. I hope you can find the I language useful as well.

-Jossshhuaa

Week 4, Post 2: Hate Speech

The hate speech museum gives a great summary of the many topics and debates regarding hate speech. Hate speech can be defined as any type of communication that delivers a negative message towards any group, religion, ethnicity, etc. However, hate speech is allowed and protected under the first amendment, the right to free speech.

In recently times, there have been a lot of controversies regarding hate speech, especially with the invent of the internet.  The internet has completely opened the world to all its good and bad.  With blogs, youtube, facebook, and other forms of communication through the web, hate speech has spread like wild fire. I can’t imagine the amount of hate speech that is being entered on websites and blogs at this moment.

In my opinion, s long as a message is not targeted to one specific group or person, and is only continued to be broadcasted, hate speech is constitutionally okay. However, when a person begins to feel threatened, then there is a need to step in and address the situation. Also, please don’t get me wrong, I in now way condone hate speech, but if it is a law that people can say what they want, we have to follow it.

What’s your opinion?

-Jossshhuaa

Week 4, Post 1: American Society Metaphor

The melting pot metaphor and rainbow each represent American society well. However, if I were to make own metaphor I would pick a quilt to represent the diversity of America. A quilt is comprised different fabrics, colors, patterns, and textures that blend together to create a beautiful piece of art.  Quilts vary from shapes and sizes and each have their own unique touch to them.

Each section of a quilt could be though of each ethnicity that exists in American culture. These races are sown together to create one blanket.  The different parts of the quilt must hold and work together into create one complete quilt. This same idea can be applied to racial differences. All racial groups must work together for the good of society.  If the parts of society do not work together, the community falls apart, just like broken seams in a tapestry.

I hope you were able to understand my metaphor of American society and I look forward to reading yours as well.

-Jossshhuaa

20-40-60

I hope you all as a class found interviewing people about this topic as fun as I did. It was interesting to see how the different levels of tolerance for gender has changed over the years. In this post I will label my opinion as 20, the person 20 years older than me labeled as 40, and 60 for the person 40 years older than me.

Through the analysis of my opinions as well as my interviewee’s, I was able to see a significant difference in the way that gender is and was accepted. The farther one goes back in time, the more genders were separated. 40 years ago, men were seen as a lot more dominate over females and had more power in the family and workplace. 20 years ago the separation was not as strong as back then. However, it was noted that sexual harassment in the workplace was the norm and had to be tolerated. Male bosses found it perfectly acceptable to take advantage of their female employees whenever they wanted. Yet, today women demand much more respect and equality in the home, school, and workplace.

Other significant differences I’ve found were the acceptance of homosexuals and the discrimination of races. 40 years ago, racism was still a big part of America. Black and Asians were severely mistreated and were not seen as equals as whites. Homosexuals were all completely shunned from society and most, if not all, were still hiding in the closet. Today, people realize more equality and freedom no matter what their gender, race, or sexual orientation. Everyone no matter what the difference is more tolerated and the individual is more accepted in society.

-Jossshhuaa

Race and Identity

The idea of race and its impact on identity is significant. Race teaches people to follow cultural traditions and act a certain a way. Its an essential part in creating connections between other people.

I feel as though the connection that similar ethnicities create is the most positive use of race. It allows people to understand and relate to one another more than gender, age, or any other factor.  People are able to build national pride and create a greater sense of community.

On the other hand, many people negatively use race to create stereotypes and statistics that misrepresent a race completely. To answer the discussion question, the census bureau should allow people to check multiple races. This would allow for a more accurate count of the population. Most people in America are immigrants and are becoming of mixed decent. It only makes sense that people should be able to claim who they really are and not just pick a favorite.

-Jossshhuaa

Reflected Appraisal

Chapter 2 discusses an important concept of the self and how it’s developed. The second stage that is discussed in developing self-image is reflected appraisal.   Reflected Appraisal happens when a parent or authority figure gives a child positive feedback for an accomplishment, act, etc. One example from the book describes an event where when a child willing cleans around the house, a parent would give out a compliment, “You’re being a great helper for cleaning up the house”.  Comments such as that reinforce the praised action to the child.

Personally, I have a lot of experience of reflected appraisal.  As a martial arts instructor, sometimes scolding a student isn’t the best way of correcting his or her behavior. One tactic I have found to be very successful is to constantly praise other students on the desired action I wish the misbehaving student to do.  The misbehaving student mostly craves attention and by with holding attention to them and giving it to other students, the process forces them to act the way I want. Once their behavior is fixed, I praise them and reinforce their positive behavior.

What experiences have you had with reflected appraisal?

_jossshhuaa