Post 3: Typical Life Cycle of Families with Children

This concept discussed by the book was very interesting. I’ve previously studied this cycle but never really how important it really was until now. The book breaks it down into 7 different stages.

1. Young couples without children
2. Families with infants and preschoolers
3. Developing families with children in elementary and high school
4. Encouraging independence, where adolescents discover themselves.
5. Families launch children into the world
6. Post launching, after all children have left the home
7. Retirement, where couples work is no longer a part of their life

I think every part of the cycle is extremely important. However, being close to graduation and settling down myself, I feel as though establishing a family with young kids is the next step for me (in a few more years). I’ve already launched from my family and am now beginning my own life. I also enjoy that step because little kids are cute, and when they get older they are not so cute. Which stage of the cycle do you really look forward too?

Jossshhuaa

Post 2: Marriage

Traditionally, marriage has a sacred union between a man and a woman. Majority of marriages were regulated by a religious governing body. Today the definition and application of marriage has become more and more loose. The fact that 50% of marriages end in divorce  and 60% of second marriages have the same result says something about the current society’s idea of marriage.

Marriage to me is the highest level of commitment towards another person forever. It’s a big step and should not be taken lightly. However, I can see the vision of marriage changing rapidly in the future. First, divorce is becoming more widely accepted and tolerated universally. Its normal to meet people who have been married before, and its not as looked down upon as it has before. Secondly, the idea of same sex marriage is becoming more widely accepted as well. Marriage, being based on heterosexual values, as now evolved to included all diversities of people. I would not be surprised if polygamy becomes legal and accepted again. You never know what could happen.

-Jossshhuaa 

Post 1: The definition of family

I believe family is the core support and relationship of a person. For this reason, family is an extremely relative term. For most people, family is blood related. It only consists of a husband and wife, children, parents, and extended blood related individuals. For others, family is not just limited to blood, but can be anyone. Close friends are sometimes seen as “brother from another mother”.

            My personal definition of family demonstrates family as the first contact of a person. They are there to spend time with one another, they help each other out, they love and care for one another, and so much more. Family can be as a big or as small a part of your life as you let it be. To me, family is a big part of my life and is my number one priority. Since my definition is so loose, all types of families discussed in chapter 12 seem to fit my definition. Family is what you make it.

Or, as Lilo from “Lilo and Stitch” say, “Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.”

-Jossshhuaa

Post 3: Long Distance Relationships

One chapter I found very interesting in this book is the section about long distance relationships. I really enjoyed this section because I am currently involved in one. My girlfriend lives in Hawaii while I live in San Jose. It’s really challenging but we still manage to make the relationship work and each other happy most importantly.

The book goes into tips about maintaining long distance relationships that we use almost everyday. First, its most important to always remain honest and open about everything that happens. Any broken trust is hard to recoup 3,000 miles away. Second, we make sure we set aside time to Skype with one another. We like to call them our daily “skype dates”. This allows us to see each other face to face, have dinner, joke around, everything without the physical touch basically. There are many other things we do to make the relationship work as well.

All in all it’s a really hard thing to do, but were both busy and very understanding at the same time. Plus it gives me an excuse to visit Hawaii often.

-Jossshuaa

Post 2: Love and Commitment

I have been in a relationship where I was there was absence of love or commitment. I’ve experienced relationships without commitment, and relationships without love.  Both are situations that aren’t happy and are unhealthy, in my opinion.

The most recent relationship where I experienced commitment without love was four years ago. I was in a relationship with this girl named Hazel for a little over one year. I did love her at one point, and the relationship was good. However, later through the relationship I realized that she was not as mature I first believed and we began to fight and bicker about everything. I was planning on ending the relationship soon if things did not turn around.  Unfortunately, at the same time she began to experience a lot of family problems. Though our relationship did not get better, I was the only one she could comfortably confide in. I no longer loved her, but felt horrible if I were to break up with her and leave her alone. I waited until her problems were solved a few months later to end the relationship.

It was hard to pretend to love someone for a while, and probably very wrong two. But I was young and had no clue what I was doing. Now she’s on to better things, and so am I.

Jossshhuaa 

Post 1: Representation

Everyone represents themselves different depending on the context he or she is in. In a job interview, people are always going to show their best traits and hide their negatives. On a first date you obviously want to make a good impression and present the best aspects of oneself. Misrepresenting oneself is a normal activity that people do daily. It only becomes unethical if you misrepresent yourself to manipulate another person or cause another person harm.

For reasons listed above, I think the manipulation that people portray online vs. face to face is the same. People that we interact with on a daily basis, may never get close enough to really get to know us. As a result, we can be whoever we want to be and move on with our lives. On a daily, we meet and talk with people who we will never see again. We can be who want and act it the way we want. I know I’ve done this many times.

I’d like to hear what examples in your life where you have misrepresented yourself.

-Jossshhuaa

Post 3: Sexual Attraction

The book discusses a very difficult topic of sexual attraction between friends from many different angles. However, it is a very relevant topic that has a large impact on a friendship. It can create tension and jealousy if not handled correctly. It can be a casual experience if agreed upon, or it can create fights and rifts between friendships.

I’ve had many friends who become so called “friend with benefits” with their friends. They call up they friend for basically a booty call, do the deed, and off they go. To them, its really casual and does not effect the relationship in anyway.

I personally can not have a friend with benefit. Sex is too strong of an intimate action, that I can do without emotions or attachment.

The best way I deal with sexual attraction with friends is to establish what kind of friendship or relationship early on. If its just a friendship I make it clear that it is. If I start having feelings, I’ll tell them, if it moves forward then I’ll give it a try. If not I’ll keep the friendship lines clear still then.

How do you deal with it?

Jossshhuaa