Post 3: Response to Conflict

After reviewing different concepts of the textbook, one of the most useful concepts I will take away from this course is about conflict resolution. This book gave such great insight into how to identify different levels of conflict, how conflicts are handled differently depending on the relationship, and so much more. One concept discussed in the book that I use every day but never realized it was the different responses to conflict.

Wood discusses four response, the exit, the neglect, the loyalty, and the voice. Each different level demonstrates different levels of conflict resolution, moving from lowest to highest. The exit response describes an instance where someone walks away from conflict. The neglect describes a person who tries to minimize the issue. Loyalty is reflects a person who stays in the relationship and tolerates the other person’s difference. While voice uses talking to create an agreement and resolution between the two parties.

Initially I thought I used mainly voice to solve all my conflicts. However after more thought, there are many times when I use all three depending on my level of care and attachment towards the relationship. When I first meet someone or am talking to someone I’ve never met, many times when differences come up just neglect the issue or exit. It’s not worth my time to try resolve our differences. However if it’s a person much more closer, I put a lot more effort into maintain our friendship and use voice to solve our problems.

What about you?

Jossshhuaa

Post 2: Favorite and Least Favorite

My favorite aspect of the class had to be each of the essays. All three of the essays challenged me to apply the concepts throughout the course in my life. As a result, I’ve found the theories learned in class to be significantly more valuable.  My most favorite essay would have to be the last, relationship development paper. It was fun dissecting my relationship with my girlfriend.  It allowed me to see how each stage would developed and transitioned.

Fortunately, there is nothing that I really disliked about the course. All the assignments, tests, and discussions were fair. The only improvement I would make is to force people to post their portion of the discussions by Thursday night. Making the discussions and reply due on the same day makes it hard to reply. Most people procrastinate.  This hurts those who are trying to be on top of everything and forces us to produce lower quality work because people don’t want to post early. Creating two different due dates would allow better quality discussions and replies.

Jossshhuaa 

Post 1: What I have learned

This class really focused on the fundamentals of human interactions and relations. One of the most memorable and interesting concepts I have learned throughout this course are the different stages of friendship and romantic relationships. Many times I’ve tried to create segmented sections of the development of each relationship, however I could never clearly define in depth as the text did. Being able to recognize and understand how each relationship develops is a valuable skill in human interaction. I have been able to label each of my friendships and see where they fall in the friendship development spectrum. 

Additionally, I have learned valuable tools in increasing my communication between family and friends by implementing better listening skills. The text explains methods such as being mindful, physical receiving messages, and selecting and organizing material. I’ve applied different strategies from the book and have seen significant improvement in my interactions with others. I’ve also tested different forms of non-listening and have found those to create negative reactions.

Have you ever tried to experiment what not to do? I’d like to hear some fun stories with that.

Jossshhuaa

Post 3: Typical Life Cycle of Families with Children

This concept discussed by the book was very interesting. I’ve previously studied this cycle but never really how important it really was until now. The book breaks it down into 7 different stages.

1. Young couples without children
2. Families with infants and preschoolers
3. Developing families with children in elementary and high school
4. Encouraging independence, where adolescents discover themselves.
5. Families launch children into the world
6. Post launching, after all children have left the home
7. Retirement, where couples work is no longer a part of their life

I think every part of the cycle is extremely important. However, being close to graduation and settling down myself, I feel as though establishing a family with young kids is the next step for me (in a few more years). I’ve already launched from my family and am now beginning my own life. I also enjoy that step because little kids are cute, and when they get older they are not so cute. Which stage of the cycle do you really look forward too?

Jossshhuaa

Post 2: Marriage

Traditionally, marriage has a sacred union between a man and a woman. Majority of marriages were regulated by a religious governing body. Today the definition and application of marriage has become more and more loose. The fact that 50% of marriages end in divorce  and 60% of second marriages have the same result says something about the current society’s idea of marriage.

Marriage to me is the highest level of commitment towards another person forever. It’s a big step and should not be taken lightly. However, I can see the vision of marriage changing rapidly in the future. First, divorce is becoming more widely accepted and tolerated universally. Its normal to meet people who have been married before, and its not as looked down upon as it has before. Secondly, the idea of same sex marriage is becoming more widely accepted as well. Marriage, being based on heterosexual values, as now evolved to included all diversities of people. I would not be surprised if polygamy becomes legal and accepted again. You never know what could happen.

-Jossshhuaa 

Post 1: The definition of family

I believe family is the core support and relationship of a person. For this reason, family is an extremely relative term. For most people, family is blood related. It only consists of a husband and wife, children, parents, and extended blood related individuals. For others, family is not just limited to blood, but can be anyone. Close friends are sometimes seen as “brother from another mother”.

            My personal definition of family demonstrates family as the first contact of a person. They are there to spend time with one another, they help each other out, they love and care for one another, and so much more. Family can be as a big or as small a part of your life as you let it be. To me, family is a big part of my life and is my number one priority. Since my definition is so loose, all types of families discussed in chapter 12 seem to fit my definition. Family is what you make it.

Or, as Lilo from “Lilo and Stitch” say, “Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.”

-Jossshhuaa

Post 3: Long Distance Relationships

One chapter I found very interesting in this book is the section about long distance relationships. I really enjoyed this section because I am currently involved in one. My girlfriend lives in Hawaii while I live in San Jose. It’s really challenging but we still manage to make the relationship work and each other happy most importantly.

The book goes into tips about maintaining long distance relationships that we use almost everyday. First, its most important to always remain honest and open about everything that happens. Any broken trust is hard to recoup 3,000 miles away. Second, we make sure we set aside time to Skype with one another. We like to call them our daily “skype dates”. This allows us to see each other face to face, have dinner, joke around, everything without the physical touch basically. There are many other things we do to make the relationship work as well.

All in all it’s a really hard thing to do, but were both busy and very understanding at the same time. Plus it gives me an excuse to visit Hawaii often.

-Jossshuaa