One part of the chapter I found particularly valuable is the
idea that in order to maintain positive relationships, you can not only confirm
others, but you also have to affirm yourself. The book discusses this concept
by stating that it is essential that you assert your own opinion of a matter to
others. If you don’t it is impossible
for others to confirm your opinion and perspective.
When I was younger, I felt it very awkward and scary to
assert myself in a conversation. I had little self confidence and did not
believe that my knowledge or experience would matter to someone who had more
experience than me. As I got older, I began to find more value in myself and
express myself more often. I now have much more self confidence. Something that
I try to teach my martial arts students daily.
-Jossshhuaa
I also found the section about affirming and asserting yourself particularly interesting. According to the text assertion is "a matter of clearly and non-judgmentally stating what you feel, need, or want. The text stated that our needs are no less important that those of other people. Although I do not struggle with it anymore, I have also had tough times affirming and asserting myself, which conflicted with my ability to maintain positive relationships. I found myself keeping all my opinions to myself, thinking that they were not as valuable. By affirming and asserting ourselves, we can acknowledge the viewpoints of both parties.
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