The book discusses a very difficult topic of sexual
attraction between friends from many different angles. However, it is a very
relevant topic that has a large impact on a friendship. It can create tension
and jealousy if not handled correctly. It can be a casual experience if agreed
upon, or it can create fights and rifts between friendships.
I’ve had many friends who become so called “friend with benefits”
with their friends. They call up they friend for basically a booty call, do the
deed, and off they go. To them, its really casual and does not effect the
relationship in anyway.
I personally can not have a friend with benefit. Sex is too
strong of an intimate action, that I can do without emotions or attachment.
The best way I deal with sexual attraction with friends is
to establish what kind of friendship or relationship early on. If its just a
friendship I make it clear that it is. If I start having feelings, I’ll tell
them, if it moves forward then I’ll give it a try. If not I’ll keep the
friendship lines clear still then.
How do you deal with it?
Jossshhuaa
I really enjoyed your post, for I can relate in many ways. I, too, have many friends who have "friends with benefits." I myself do not, for I also agree with you that sex is an intimate action that I cannot do without feeling emotion or attachment towards an individual. It is definitely difficult for me to have a friendship with someone I have a strong sexual attraction to, because I believe that I treat them differently than I do my other friends. I tend to be biased when it comes to the relationship, and I find myself doing anything I can to please this person with the hope that they might see me the same way I see them. It is often a struggle to suppress these feelings. It is also difficult to have a friendship with someone whom I know has a sexual attraction towards me. This is because I do not want them to think that me being nice or generous to them is a sign that I return their feelings. Unfortunately, I tend to distance myself from these individuals in order to avoid the situation. It is not something that I am proud of because I have lost some pretty great people in my life from the obstacle of sexual attraction.
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